The one with the heart hitches…

Do you know what a heart hitch is? For me it is when my heart drops for a moment and skips a beat at the same time….

Several times lately I have had that hitch. When a friend told me she was engaged, when I realize two friends are getting married this summer, when one friend announced she was pregnant. I am older than each of these friends…

I am so very happy for each of these friends, yet I wonder…

When will it be my turn?

Haven’t I been patient Lord?

And then I start questioning myself and wonder if I am good enough.

I have such a strong desire to be married. I have always wanted to be a wife and mother, actually even more than anything else I have always wanted to be. I always had high expectations of getting married in my early 20’s and then when that did not happen, my late twenties, and now my 30’s. And I look back and in many ways I am so thankful I was not married then! I have learned so much through my parents divorce and through deepening my relationship with God.

After my heart hitches I do have some moments of despair and wondering…

But then I remember, I am my beloved’s. He loves me with an all encompassing love, so big, so wide, so deep that I can barely comprehend it.

And while I may feel sad at times and wonder what may come I must remember…

That beloved? He is mine already.

His Beloved,

3 Responses to “The one with the heart hitches…”

  1. 1 Kristina January 9, 2009 at 8:28 am

    There are times when I feel like when is it my turn? I’ve been married now for 5 years and I remember that time. I also remember how it took us 3 years to get pregnant. I learned from many unanswered prayers and my understanding parents that you are exactly where God wants you to be right now. You may already know your future husband, you just don’t know it yet. Or you could meet him today on your way home from work, or tomorrow in the coffee shop. Hang in there, all things will turn out good =)

  2. 2 Kristen January 9, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    One day this post title is going to be “The One Where The Heart Got Hitched!” LOL.

    I remember so well crying to God about marriage.

    We serve a powerful God who knows you better than anyone else.

    The ultimate Matchmaker. Seriously. I wonder what awesome blind date He is planning right now. ;)

  1. 1 The one with the light bulb moment… « Critty Joy Trackback on January 13, 2009 at 1:23 am

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